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| MESOTHELIOMA LAW FIRM |
Russell Thornton’s
Currently.
Reading: I've been working a lot lately so I haven't had too much time for reading the past couple of weeks. However, I have been managing to sneak in some pages on a couple of books I'm moving through very slowly. I did finish a book that was surprisingly engaging, albeit pretty poorly written- Down the Rabbit Hole. If you click on that don't you dare judge me! ;) haha. Growing up in the 90s/2000s I really feel like Playboy was such a big thing- a little embarrassing to admit but I remember going to tanning beds with my girlfriends before Spring Break (2002? 2003?) and getting a Playboy bunny sticker every time so we would have the outline of little bunnies on our lower hip. SO incredibly stupid on many levels but really funny to look back on. So anyway, it was definitely an interesting read, but a beach read for sure. Little to no thought necessary but very fun. I also just started reading The Dinner by Herman Koch. So far, so good!
Eating: While hiking through Yosemite I was living out of my backpack for a few days and started eating tortillas with almond butter and dried apricots inside once I got sick of protein bars and ran out of beef jerky. SO good. Since being home I've been making the same for the boys and me in the morning and it's been a hit. Easy and portable- the perfect on-the-way-to-school snack! We don't typically do the dried fruit thing so bananas, apples, and/or berries work well too.
Thinking about: I feel like my brain is all over the place so I'm just going to type out every random thing on my mind for you, so here goes: I have been thinking a lot about a third child and we go back and forth SO much as to when we should try. We know for sure we would love to have another baby, but when? Is there ever a good time? But then other parts of me think- is three too many? Is it socially irresponsible to have a big family? No judgment if you do, these are just things I think about. A lot. haha. I've also been having discussions with Hank about work. For such a long time I thought all I wanted to do was be a stay-at-home Mom. When I went back to work (although I work mainly from home), I realized (remembered!) how much I really, really love working. And now I'm not sure if I can imagine ever going back to the way it was. Granted, it's definitely a juggling act, but it works for us. I feel like I should write a post about the past year and a half and this whole transition...maybe I will soon. Also- why does my anxiety get so funky every month, during that time of the month? I swear, I feel crazy for a couple of days and it goes away. I'm starting to really pay attention and I can totally chart when it's going to happen. I feel like I should explore ways to combat this because I hate it.
Looking forward to: Every year my girlfriends and I go back to Flagstaff for Homecoming. This year that weekend wasn't possible, so we're headed up the weekend before (next weekend!) to spend a few days in our favorite place. The leaves should be getting some good colors and I'm really, really excited for even chillier weather. On the agenda: lots of hiking, lots of yoga, and lots of good food and wine. Hank and the boys will be having a daddy/son weekend and they're super excited for camping and a big pizza party.
Enjoying: My girlfriends. This is a constant feeling for me, but lately I've just been so in awe of the females in my life. I've also had the great pleasure of meeting a few really amazing new friends, and reconnecting with some old ones also. For example- while in college I had a wonderful friend and sorority sister named Brittany. I absolutely adored her, but she transferred to a different college after a year and we lost touch. Fast forward to last summer, and who ends up having a daughter in Henry's class? Brittany! Henry's teacher is a good friend of mine, and while at the before-school picnic that summer she mentioned there was a new family that we would love, and how much I would connect with the Mom. She pointed her out across the park, and once she turned around we had such a fun slow motion recognition- "IS THAT YOU?!" Over the past year I've so enjoyed getting to re-know my friend again and I feel so lucky we are back in each others' lives in such a fun way.
Learning: So many new things. Camping things, hiking things, backpacking things, house renovation things, etc! One big thing is that this year I was asked to join the Board of Directors at Henry's school. I was so flattered and excited, but also a little nervous because although I've done similar things in the past, I've never served on anything like this before. I said yes, and since then it's been such a fun experience. And on a different note, this backpacking trip I just completed taught me a MILLION things about myself, nature, and life in general. I'm almost done with my post on that, and I can't wait to share!
Loving: Fall, the tiny bits of Fall color on the edges of the trees, bagels in the morning, baby Poppy and seeing Veronica as a newborn mama all over again, my sister and her happiness, upcoming trips with Hank, Henry and Charlie and their (usually) sweet relationship, avocado toast, finding new blogs and IG profiles to love, and the holidays coming up!
So, how about you? What are you up to today? Feel free to do your own "currently" post on your blog and link back in the comments for everyone to check out.
Ringing in Fall
Here are some of my favorites, both on my wishlist and ones I own and love!
1. Madewell rings. Have you checked out their jewelry yet? I recently got this ring and have been wearing it non stop. The price is great too.
2. My friend Kelli makes the prettiest rings right here in Arizona and sells them in her Tempe-based shop and on Etsy. She sent me a set of stackers (pictured above and below) and I really love all three.
3. Free People also makes some really great jewelry, especially for your hands! Here are a few of my favorites: one (pictured here...and on sale too), two, and three.
4. Another favorite is Gorjana. I recently picked up one of their midi rings and it's really beautiful. Great quality and the perfect gold tone.
5. And finally, Elizabeth and James makes some of the neatest jewelry- a little pricier, but definitely a great splurge and treat for yourself. This one is my favorite.
If you have any favorites, especially Etsy shops, let me know! It's so fun finding new little treasures to add to my collection. xoxo
Video: Hiking Yosemite and Half Dome 2015
This Place, Not Too Far From That Place
Even to write this makes me sad. But in order to love ourselves, we must love our entire story, right? I believe that. So onwards and upwards, to today.
Today I do all things with love. I look at myself and feel grateful. I climb a mountain and I feel strong. I carry my children and I feel like this is why I am here. My body takes me from one place to another- I run long distances and dance across a room and hike trails with the boys and jump up from my seat to hug a friend. Movement. Strength. I now eat to nourish myself. I lift weights to feel happy, I run to clear my mind. I practice yoga for all of the above.
I stand here in this place, not too far from that place, and look back with kindness at that girl. I sit here in bed and type this, taking a deep breath and feeling it move through my entire self- this body of mine that I once wanted so badly to be anything than what it was. But I'm here now, and it feels so good to love the here so hard. Saying thank you every chance I get, to this rad, strong body and all it does. Making up for lost time maybe, but I think with love, it's never too late. Grateful. Soaking it all up. And excited for what else I can learn and do. Here's to the next...
A Fall Wishlist, Part Two
Today I thought it would be fun to do another Fall wishlist, with more of my favorite items for my favorite season. Enjoy! xoxo
Nordstrom
This plaid shirt is an afforable staple- and a little longer which is nice for cozy Autumn days.
LOVING this jacket- I think it may be my favorite Fall coat I've seen so far. I think I'll be picking this one up.
And here's a link to the jacket I have on above!
Such a cute, simple dress. Would be great with a jean jacket or a green surplus button up over it.
This is what my sweater dreams are made of! And this one too, in the gray color.
I got a lot of questions when I wore these shoes to our friends' wedding in Denver- and here they are! Super comfy and incredibly pretty. You need these! Also, if your size is sold out, check back in the early-ish morning hours. I've noticed that sizes are restocked then, and I've often caught my size on hard-to-get items. I almost always wear a 6.5 and these run true to size.
I recently picked up this top (see it here) and it's become a daily staple. I wear it thrown over yoga pants and running shorts- very comfortable and cute.
Urban Outfitters
The perfect chambray, button-down shirt...in comfy Tencel.
Loving this swingy tee dress. You could wear this so many different ways.
I just got this flannel in the red color and I can't wait to wear it.
This dress (in rust especially) is the perfect Autumn dress. Tights, boots, layered with a jacket on top...I love it.
These boots arrived last month in preparation for cooler weather and I think they're my favorite Fall item. I've had the same pair of brown ankle boots for a couple of years, but they've reached the end of the road- these beauties have taken their place!
How fantastic is this jacket? Perfectly plaid.
This is my favorite hat to wear when hiking. Good coverage and very comfy.
Shopbop
I recently got this vegan leather and ponte jacket and LOVE it. The fit is flattering and it's warm enough to wear on cold Fall evenings.
Loving the Oval Moon ring- I've been really into bigger rings lately and this one fits the bill perfectly- and a great price also.
I have and love these jeans, and many of the washes are on sale!
Do you have a pair of Hunters? I have the classic (non-glossy) black and wear them constantly in gloomy weather. Love them.
Considering getting a bucket bag this year- not the kind of bag I would typically carry, but very cute- Baggu makes some good ones.
Madewell shirtdresses are perfect for Fall- I just ordered one in the red plaid.
Forever 21
I absolutely love this top. Classic and simple. I would wear it with dark denim and ankle boots.
Another classic item- this two-pocket dress will be mine! So cute!
A hooded utility jacket to add to your Fall wardrobe. This one is on the shorter side, which I feel can be more flattering than longer, heavier ones.
This is a great plaid shirtdress at a good price. I like the purple and black one best.
And finally, I love this striped tee in the olive and black. Super cute.
Happy shopping! xo
Tiny Little Diamonds Moving Across My Face
Sometimes I wish there was a way we could wake up and know when it would be the last time we would see someone. Upon rising our brains would give us that information- remind us to pay extra attention, tell people you love them, hug even harder, say goodbye. But that wouldn't work, would it? Someone like me wouldn't be able to gracefully end it, an expiration date on years and years of a relationship happening right then and there, a firm closing of a door. It wouldn't work. So instead we go about our days, we live our lives, we try to act in such a way that we won't feel regret or sadness when the inevitable does happen, although even as I'm typing this sentence out I know that it's impossible not to.
I remember where I was when we got the call that your body had been found. I can remember the green trees over my head for some reason- the leaves swaying back and forth and that shushing sound as the wind blew through them. It was so quiet except for that shush, shushing, and the sun glittering through that canopy like tiny little diamonds moving across my face as the leaves shifted back and forth. In my memory I knew it was a bad call before I knew it was a bad call, but really I don't know if I that is true, or if all of the terrible-ness of that moment bled into the before and after, creating an awful frame.
That was the first time I lost someone I really, really loved. I feel removed from it now, and to be honest I don't think of him as often as I once did. But then other times I'll be doing something, anything, and a weird wave comes rushing in- sounds and sights and feelings- and I'll remember it all. And now as a Mom I'll be pushing Charlie in a stroller past these particular places- we used to run on that track there, we used to grab dinner there, we used to sit on that porch here- and it's like time slows down for just a second, silent except for my heartbeat in my chest, memories dropping in quicker and quicker, until I feel like I have to visibly shake my head to keep moving.
Years have gone by now and we've lost other people we love. Time goes on, life goes on and things happen. Horrible things happen. The older I get the more I see this. And this morning I woke up with a head full of anxiety. In these moments or these kinds of days my brain is my enemy. I can go on for days, weeks, months happy and bouncing along, but then one day I will wake up and there it is- that fog. It's as if my body has a reset- things are going too well, too good- let's bring you back to reality, let's fuck you up. So I have a hard day where my mind races around anxiously and reminds me of anything upsetting that's ever happened. And when I sat up in bed at 6:10am all I could think about was the fact that you should be 28 years old right now. 28. All of the things you could have done with your life. And I felt so angry and sad because there's nothing I could ever do to change any of it. You missed out, we missed out, every person who never knew you misses out.
(And it's weird that I'm thinking about this now. I can see though it's a dream I had, a photograph I stumbled upon, an ex-girlfriend I ran into, a conversation with Hank, all rolled into this morning. Little pieces of memory floating around that finally found their place, together. Click. I sit here and type this post that I feel uncomfortable even sharing, but at the same time I know that when I get that feeling perhaps those are the posts that most need to be shared.)
We live in this small town and we go about our business, we take walks around the square in the green, bright summers and in the orange, crisp falls. The snow falls in the winter, the daffodils come up again in the spring. We have horrible days and great days, we do all sorts of everyday things that add up into one big feeling about what we're building- we work to figure out what this all means. I try to remember to pay attention, I tell my friends that I love them, I hug hard, I do my best to enjoy every moment. But then there are little spaces between all of that- bumps and blips on the timeline where you should be, where you would have been. A blank spot. And that hurts. But we keep going, we keep looking ahead, and as time goes on I've learned that instead of stopping in the places where you would have been, I need to carry you with me right over them. And in that way, you'll always be here instead of there, a part of the now instead of just then.
Seawheeze 2015: Training + Music
Hello! If you missed my Seawheeze post last night be sure to hop back and check it out. This is part two- I wanted to talk a bit more about my training, the course, and the music I listened to during the race.
To give a bit of background, I've always been a runner thanks to the sports I played growing up. But although I've always enjoyed it, I've never been someone who wanted to run over 6 miles at most. I just wasn't interested. A few years back I shared a bit about Hank running his first half marathon, and how emotional it was for me to watch all of the half and full marathon runners cross the finish line. I must have cried 20x as all of those amazing people completed the race. I knew it was something I wanted to do sometime in my life, but still, running over 10 miles seemed a little crazy and out of reach to me.
So when I impulsively signed up for Seawheeze 2015 I didn't feel terribly nervous, but at the same time I wasn't looking forward to the running part of the weekend at all. I started "training" soon after registering, but even then I was just running 6-7 miles here and there- nothing out of my comfort zone. The fall and winter flew by, and when spring approached I knew I had to get semi-serious. I started running a tiny bit more, 6ish miles here and there but still nothing regular, just more frequently, so I still didn't really feel "ready." When June hit though and we traveled the East Coast throughout the month I upped my mileage to 8. At that point I was running 6 miles 2x a week, and then one 8 miler about once a week, but only every other week. When we got home I started to get that dreaded feeling of "oh shit I'm running out of time here," but because I apparently like to live on the edge I only did one or two more long runs and just hoped for the best.
Race day came and I actually felt pretty good going into it. Even though I didn't follow a major running plan over the previous few months, I still worked out daily in some way, and at the end of the day, I really do think that so much of it is mental.
So there I was, waiting for my wave to start, and I made two promises to myself- 1) no negative self talk at all and 2) no walking or stopping. And off we went! The course itself isn't too bad- I live at a high elevation so being at sea level was a treat, and over the two hours I ran I never once thought that I wanted to stop or felt uncomfortable. It was almost shocking how great I felt! I had started in the 2:30 wave, and I ended up finishing a little over 2 hours, which is a huge jump. I can remember passing the Pace Beavers (yes, beavers! haha) for the times ahead of my original time and feeling SO motivated. I didn't wear a watch or take my phone out at all, so those were my only real markers of how I was doing and it was really exciting and surprising to find myself running past them.
One thing to note is that the course is incredibly beautiful and scenic. So many times I found myself looking around as I was running, taking it all in. It was neat to never have been in parts of the course- it was all new to me and kept my brain poised on what was next. I love the description from the Seawheeze site: "Over 11 km of the route is next to the Pacific Ocean – that means breathtaking views and inspiring ion-charged breezes. The rest of the race course showcases the beauty and vibrancy of Vancouver. Elevations keep you on your toes, hills test your resilience and plenty of downhill terrain brings out your inner speed demon. From the downtown Vancouver start line to the Seawall in Stanley Park this is a route for every runner’s must-do list!"
Looking back now I do wish I would have trained harder. I'm so happy with my finish and the accomplishment in and of itself (and keeping the two promises I made to myself!), but of course because I'm so competitive with myself I want to do it again and train in a much more organized manner and see what happens!
Here's my official time for the race:
And MUSIC! Oh, the music. Sometimes I prefer to run with silence and just take it all in, and there were parts of the half where I took my headphones off and just enjoyed the cheering and energy...but overall music is a BIG motivator for me. This particular playlist really kept me going too. I just put it on shuffle and went for it, and the entire time I felt like the music worked well with my pace and mood. Some of these are silly, some are really really silly, but most of all they all inspire me and pump me up a bit.
I hope this helps- I've gotten so many questions on what music I like to run to, training, etc. I'm no expert at all (hello, first half marathon!) but I do love sharing my own experience in the hopes someone will be able to take something from it. Sign up for next year is in a couple of weeks and I'm really excited but also nervous I won't get in! It sold out quickly last year so you better believe I'm setting an alarm and making this happen. Cross your fingers for me!
Happy running, and as always thanks for reading! xoxo
*all photos courtesy of lululemon.com
Seawheeze 2015
About a year ago Alana texted our group text (made up of my college best friends) in a flurry- "Seawheeze tickets go on sale in 30! Who's in?!" I knew from her previous experience with this Lululemon event that they sold out very quickly, and I also knew from her experience that this was something I did not want to miss! Over the last couple of years Hank and I have adopted a bit of "say yes now, figure it out later" policy when it comes to spontaneous travel, so my reply to Alana was "I'm in!" Brenda also decided to commit so there we were, me sitting in front of my computer, fingers poised above the keys waiting for 10am to hit, and Brenda, at work trying to register from her phone.
Luckily we all were able to register and just like that, I was signed up for my first half-marathon. Fast forward to a year later (the quickest year ever, I think), and Alana and I were boarding a plane for Seattle to meet Brenda, and drive up to Whistler to start our trip. We decided to do it this way so we could make a mini-road trip out of it, and it was a really good choice. The drive was beautiful, and we stopped many times along the way to just take it all in. REALLY gorgeous.
Brenda found us a hotel right in downtown Whistler- the Pinnacle- and after we checked in we spent that first night walking around and exploring. We went to bed fairly early, because we knew we wanted to get one more run in in the AM before we focused on resting before the half on Saturday. We woke up early-ish Thursday morning and headed out- we did about 4 miles through some of Whistler's trails, then ended with some breakfast on some cute place's patio (for the life of me I can't remember the name) and watched all of the commotion as an extreme sports festival began to take over for the weekend. Our original plan was to do some stand up paddle boarding at a nearby lake, but after talking to our server so suggested we instead make the drive up to Joffre Lakes Provincial Park to hike the trails. And I will forever be grateful for that sweet server for ultimately sending us to THE most beautiful place I've ever been in my life!
The drive up to Joffre was insanely gorgeous in itself, but even so, we still didn't know what to expect when we arrived at the park. And hollllllly, were we in for a treat! We quickly arrived at the first lake and couldn't believe the color of the water- so blue! A fellow hiker told us that "we hadn't seen nothing yet" and urged us to keep going to the second and third if we had time. We had to drive all the way back down to Vancouver that evening, so we booked it to the second lake and whoa, whoa, whoa, talk about amazing! Really and truly breathtaking. I had seen photos of the area before but nothing did it justice- it was just such a treat to be in such natural beauty, and if you are ever in this area please do yourself a favor and visit this park.
We spent a bit of time exploring (and walking out on a log!) then halfway ran back down the mountain to make it to our car to head down to Vancouver. I don't remember how long the drive took, maybe a few hours, but it went quickly and like I said above, the excursion up north was absolutely worth it. When it was all said and done, that day and hike was one of the major highlights of the trip for me.
I had visited Vancouver just a couple weeks prior for work, but even so, driving into the city as the sun was starting to set was magical. Between that first trip and this one, Vancouver totally stole my heart- it's just such a special place and I wanted to cry as we began to enter the city again just from feeling so lucky and grateful to be there again.
We checked into our Airbnb (get $20 off your first booking here), got settled, showered the long day away, and got ready to head out for the night. We met up with some friends and had the most delicious dinner at Cactus Club. I think it's a rule that all wine and food taste a hundred times better after lots of physical exertion. I think between the run and hike we totaled about 11 miles for the day so everything was extra delicious. Brenda and I got a few things off of the appetizer menu, then also split a big salad and the butter fish. It was all excellent. Afterward we visited a few bars in Yaletown, but still called it pretty early with the half looming over us. At that point I was having a tiny bit of race anxiety and feeling nervous- in my ideal world I would have gone to bed every night at 9pm in the week leading up to Seawheeze, but obviously that wasn't happening and I was starting to feel a tiny bit stressed. But I managed to quiet my brain and finally get some sleep, even with the excitement of Seawheeze Day 1 starting the next morning.
The next day (Friday) we woke up super early and headed down to get our race packets. Brenda and I initially wanted to wait in line to get into the Lululemon Runner Store but after waiting for a bit decided to skip out and go explore the city. We ended up randomly walking into The Elbow Room Cafe and unfortunately we did NOT read the rules beforehand. If you've been there before you'll know exactly what I'm talking about and our server eventually had to say "Ladies, have you been here before?!" with a wink on the side. We worked it out, got a delicious meal, and happily went on our way. ;)
The rest of the day went by so quickly, fueled by nerves. Although I knew I would do just fine the next morning my stomach was still in knots thinking about the race. When I used to run track and play soccer competitively I would feel the same way- and even though being nervous isn't always fun, I kind of liked it this time around because how often are we as adults able to really experience these types of emotions? Pretty neat. We capped the night off with yoga at the convention center and it was one of the best yoga experiences I've ever, ever had. Reno from Dharma Yoga Vancouver led hundreds of us in one big yoga/meditation practice, and it was incredibly powerful. Alana, Bren and I were all moved emotionally in one way or another. It's hard to find the words to describe it- but it was really, really awesome. So post-yoga we headed to bed around 10pm, prepared to wake up EARLY the next morning...and we attempted to get some rest.
When our alarms went off at 5am we all hopped out of bed- adrenaline was already pumping. I had a some Ezekial toast and almond butter with a banana on top, and the girls and I headed down to catch a cab to the Convention Center, where the race would start. When we arrived the energy was palpable- there was a huge warm up being led outside and there were athletes stretching in every corner of the place, inside and out. Time flew by and suddenly, Alana and I were lined up in our wave, Brennie up at hers. I thought I would run it in 2 hours 30 minutes, so that's the pace we chose (I'll talk more about this in tomorrow's post). Each wave before us went, and then we were up! The music was pumping, people were cheering...3, 2, 1, GO!
The entire 13.1 miles went by quickly. I cannot say enough great things about the course itself. People cheering, encouraging you, runners high fiving each other, it was THE most positive athletic experience I've ever been a part of. And so much fun, you guys. I cried a few times while running, just thinking about how thankful I was that my body was able to do something like this, that my family was able to make this happen for me through helping out with the boys, and that I was there, in Vancouver, with two of my best friends doing something so so rad. It was truly overwhelming.
I finished the race in record time for myself- 2:02:32. About 30 minutes faster than I estimated, which was both exhilarating and shocking. I felt great the entire time and I think that's why I was so emotional when I finished- I never doubted I could do it, but when I CRUSHED my goal and did it feeling so so positive and good about it- that was just the best feeling in the world. When the girl at the finish line put that adorable carrot medal around my neck I could have kissed her! I was SO excited and happily overwhelmed.
Once the girls and I found each other, did a little victory dance, high fiving and hugging, we got in line for the post-run massage. One of the neatest things about the entire Seawheeze experience was all of the details Lulu put into everything. From the little "Runner's Reward" from Saje to Sunset Yoga to things like post-run massages and chiro tune-ups, there were surprises every single day of the event. And oh my gosh, was the massage GOOD!
For our post-run meal we went and had Pho (my first time trying it) and it was the perfect way to cap off the afternoon. We followed it up with some rest, showers and got ready for what turned out to be one of the best parts of the whole weekend- the Sunset Festival!
Seawheeze's motto is "Run. Yoga. Party" and that's exactly what you do. Run your heart out, yoga a ton, and then end it all with a concert in Stanley Park with 10,000 new, likeminded friends on a perfect Vancouver summer night. This year the Sunset Festival began with a yoga session led by Alex Mazerolle, followed by three bands: Bear Mountain, Yeasayer, and St. Lucia. Such a great lineup. We ate, we drank, we danced all night...the perfect end to an unbelievable weekend.
To wrap up this incredibly long post I just have to say what an EXPERIENCE Seawheeze was. I feel like I could go on and on about it, and there were so many things I didn't even mention. But all in all, this was a transformative weekend where I left feeling on top of the world and that feeling has seeped into every aspect of my life. What a beautiful thing to have a goal and achieve it, with your friends right alongside you. I feel so so thankful.
And before we get to the photos, be sure to check out the video below- isn't it AMAZING? This really gives you a feel for what an incredible experience it was. Sign up for next year is September 16th. We're going to try to run it again, if we're able to register...and I hope you'll join us!
Also, tomorrow I'll be sharing my playlist I listened to throughout the run, as well as more on the course and my training in general, so stay tuned for that! xoxo
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